Here's to you, insane TV show theory guy

We all know one. A normal enough guy that enjoys the same popular TV shows as you but their theories for the upcoming episodes or seasons are just insanely off the mark. Their theories are so fundamentally wrong that you just let their outlandish claim slide with a “Huh, you know maybe??” because it's not worth the thirty minute explanation that it would take to explain why they're wrong.

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In this day and age, it takes little to no effort to figure out what’s going to happen during the rest of the season. From professional bloggers and journalist to deep diving in subreddits (shout out to r/Westworld), we pretty much have it figured out. I think reddit called the two timeline thing in Westworld by the second or third episode of last season.

I occasionally gloss over the show-predicting-websites to check my theories against the professional nerds and I’d wager that so does the average fan. However, if you think the person I’m talking about does the same then you’d be sadly mistaken. Insane theory guy usually watches any given episode only once, half watching, half refreshing Instagram, and then barbarically shoots from the hip with an absolutely absurd idea. Like “Oh, I think Arya will end up on the Iron Throne” or “I think the Man in Black is actually a robot”. They’re always wrong and everyone within earshot is dumber for having listened to them.


Though this may frustrate you to no end, and damage your relationship with them forever, I want to take a moment to appreciate the world they live in.

Realistically, there are like 5 different scenarios to the ending of Game of Thrones. All the hardcore fans kinda-sorta know how the show is going to end because they’ve rewatched it so many times and keep up with the tabloids. Since the hardcore fans know all of the accurate and popular theories for the upcoming episodes they basically watch the show for confirmation of what they already knew. Which can take a lot of the shock factor out of big moments. When Jon Snow died and was brought back to life, some people truly believed he was going to stay dead. Those people are watching a completely different 'Game of Thrones' than the rest of us. By remaining comfortably unaware of popular predictions, insane theory guy can just be floored by every new episode because they have no idea what is going on. It would be like riding a roller coaster for the first time, having your memory wiped, then getting right back on that same roller coaster again. Endless shock and wonder.

So here’s to you insane TV show theory guy, I salute you. You blissfully ignorant bastard. I can't wait to dismiss your many theories as the years go by.