Despite All My Rage, I am Still Just Nicolas Cage

People poke fun at Nic Cage because he exclusively plays insane, eccentric, and insanely eccentric characters. But, there's a reason why his roles are always that of schizophrenic crackheads - he's damn good at it. 

In fact, he's so damn good at playing the personification of throwing star fidget spinners that he's cornered the entire market. He forfeited the opportunity to play the handsome straight man on purpose. He generously tossed those jobs to lesser actors like Brad Pitt and George "I live where you vacation" Clooney. 

He gives and he gives and he gives. While other actors are instagramming at Coachella or pretending to shop at Safeway for the People Magazine Stars: They're Just Like Us column, Cage is staring at himself in the mirror, sometimes for days on end, honing his craft. He pumps out movie after movie after movie, partly to pay off his debts to the IRS, but mostly to give us lowly fans another chance to get a brief glimpse at what peaking is. 

This is a tribute to Mr. Cage, master of rage...